ON THIS:

This is going to change my life.

You might have caught on to the fact that I’ve valued a scheduled routine since having Ellie three years ago. With Tim and my line of work–house concerts, leading worship–we need to know when the girls will nap and go to bed and how long they will sleep. So the girls’ schedule was never a problem for us.

Then, when Tim was working full-time out of the house, we created a family schedule, which I shared with you here. But now that Tim is working away from home, the girls still have a good schedule, but I am overwhelmed with balancing the things I have to do with the things I want to do. Until Robin Pasley brought that beautiful thing into my life.

When she took me out to coffee the other day, we sat down and did exactly the same thing Tim and I did when we came up with our family schedule, and she wrote a great routine that I can follow everyday. We organized it in blocks of time, so I can shift with changes in Tim’s schedules and changes in the girls’ schedules.

We set aside time for cleaning dishes, changing diapers, making bottles, doing emails, blogging, exercising, Bible reading time, and even having craft/free/mommy-and-me time. And, I get to all the household cleaning without feeling overwhelmed.

Check this out. See the 2 hour block of cleaning on the general schedule? Well, she divided all the household cleaning needs into a 5-day schedule that fits into that block of time:

Monday is my bathroom cleaning day and laundry day.

Tuesday is my floor cleaning day and surface disinfecting day.

Wednesday I do a different monthly cleaning task every week.

Thursday is another laundry day along with the 27-fling Boogie from The Flylady (that’s today, and I’m really excited about it).

Friday is a catch-up day.

And Saturdays and Sundays have no cleaning duties except for the regular dish-washing and straightening of the house.

She actually made additional schedules for every day of the week that details the cleaning…yes, she did. And I have a to-do list of organizing projects and a Monthly Zone Cleaning list that guides my Wednesday cleanings. And to top it off, the whole thing is safely housed in sheet protectors and a 3-ring binder.

And because everything has a space of time that it belongs to, I can say to the cobwebs in the living room, “You’re not until Wednesday of next week.” And I can say to the rug in the bathroom, “It’s your turn next Monday.” And I can say to the refrigerator and freezer, “Oh, you’ve never looked better! I’m sure glad I cleaned you yesterday!”

And I can say to Ellie while I’m blogging, “This is Mommy’s work time right now. Let’s get out your computer so you can work too.” And she diligently reads books, makes thank-you cards, or works on her LeapPad.

And then after lunch, I feel so free that I get to totally dedicate myself to my girls and do this:

without feeling like I always have something else tugging at my time. Note: Emma is Snow White, obviously.

I’m convincing Robin to make herself available to other moms who need this same awesomeness–because don’t we all? So if  you would like her to work out a schedule for you and/or help you organize your life, visit her website www.robinpasley.com and write her an inquiry email about it. If you’re anything like me, you will not be able to stop thanking her for it.

This is the dawning of a new day in the Thornton home.

Emma has started sleeping 12 hours in the night on a regular basis. Oh yes. OH yes. OH YES!

That’s two girls–count ‘em–TWO that are sleeping 12 hours per night. 7:30 to 7:30. Thank you, Baby Whisperer.

So now that the dark circles under my eyes are slowing disappearing, there’s no better time to establish some good organization.

Contrary to what it probably seems like, I am not an organized person naturally. It does not come easily for me; in fact, I often find myself staring, overwhelmed and lost, at my clutter and mess.  Often I know what the areas are that I need to pick up or clean, but I get so frustrated that I’ll go watch Project Runway instead.

Add in Tim’s new job, which has pretty much shot our family schedule, and you can imagine not only my mess but my lack of energy for it, too.

Thank God for friends who are gifted in things that we are not gifted in. And thank God for friends who say things like, “Let me love you by using my special gift for organization on your house.”

That is what my friend Robin said when she came over at 9:45 yesterday morning, toured my house, opened all my closets, looked in every room, and diligently took notes in a spiral-bound notebook.

I knew she was coming. She’d given me a week to prepare, but I still shed a couple of tears before she arrived. I was nervous for anyone, no matter how close, to see my secret messes.

But I knew I needed her. I knew I needed her to tour the house. I knew I needed to face the facts. My house needs help. It’s not filthy, but it’s not organized either.  I admit, I had a bit of an identity crisis that morning. The reality of my hidden clutter started to take over and tell me that I’m not a good housekeeper, wife, and mom.

But then I came to my senses, remembered who I am, and that clutter and messes don’t matter that much and that it’s ridiculous of me to let a couple closets send me into such a place.  Silly, really.

So once I got my wits about me, I rejoiced that Robin loves me for who I am and not for what my closets look like. And I resolved to let her help me in a way that I, especially in this season of life, can not help myself.

After the tour, we went to Starbucks and discussed. Over a double short breve latte with one raw sugar, we talked about my “hot spots,” or the places that clutter has taken over and that threatens to take over whole surfaces, whole rooms. She shared with me this–which actually gives me a way to conquer the clutter: Declutter 15 Minutes a Day–5 Great Tools That Make It Easy.

We talked about our routine, too, which is so full of goodness that I’ll save it for another post.

And then Robin dove in to the pantry and did this:

Then she moved on to the toys and clothes in the girls’ room, organized the toys, and gave Ellie a special reading nook, which resulted in this happening this morning (no, that’s not a dog in the foreground; it’s Emma, crawling like a bullet out of the room):

What else can I say, but THANK YOU! It’s a good thing my identity crisis didn’t get the best of me, or I would have missed out on an amazing blessing!

Tim thinks it should be renamed “the going back into the womb wrap,” because that’s exactly what happens.

Here’s the thing about me: I don’t like double strollers. They’re huge, they don’t fit through doorways and if they do, it feels like forever before I get the whole thing through the door. So before Emma was born I did some research into different wraps and slings and things so that I could keep pushing just the single stroller.

After much research, I settled on the Moby. I’ve never been sorry.

When Emma was a newborn, she’d settle in to the thing and after a couple of seconds, she’d be out. And not like 5 minutes out–we’re talking 2 hours out. I could walk all over town, sit down for lunch with friends, clean the kitchen at home with her tucked away in the wrap, all the while taking care of Ellie, too.

And now that she’s older, if she’s in it facing me, she falls asleep. If she’s in it facing out, she’s having fun looking at the surroundings. It’s so versatile, so easy, so fabulous.

And not only that, for all those hours I spent walking with her strapped to me there was hardly any body pain to speak of. I can only think of one time on an all-day trek through the farmer’s market and beyond that I started to ache a little in my lower back. Maybe that’ll change the older and bigger she gets, but it hasn’t yet.

Really the only downsides that I’ve found are that it’s a little tricky to get the baby into by myself, and it takes some practice getting used to wrapping it the different ways. And that people around town started getting a little frustrated that they never saw the baby…she was always so cozy and happy in the wrap I never took her out!

If I could, I’d buy one for everyone I know. You can buy it here:

So you might have noticed over there on the sidebar, a list of recommended things. I’m hoping to change those up every couple weeks or so, and I’m hoping to continue to do what I’m going to do today. Actually recommend them.

First things first: I should change the title of this post to What Got My Both My Babies Sleeping Through the Night.

I love all things Baby Whisperer! Before Ellie was born, my sister gave Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby to me, saying that it was a book that actually took into account different baby temperaments in helping moms come up with good and healthy routines for babies and that it explains how to decipher a baby’s cues and determine what they need when they cry.

Well, she was right! Holy cow it is SO helpful! There is a section that explains the many temperaments of babies, along with a quiz you can take to find out which your baby leans towards. And then throughout the book Tracy (the author and I are on a first name basis, that’s how close we are) continues to specify different techniques you can use for each temperament in establishing a routine. And not only that, she has really practical tips and tricks to help baby sleep, without relying solely on crying-it-out. Unlike other books that preach somewhat the same “eat-awake-sleep” pattern, this book is one that I went back to time and time again thinking, “but how can I do that?” and then the answer would be right there in black and white!

And when Ellie and Emma would cry and I wouldn’t know what their cries meant, I would race back to the book and look at the chart of different baby cries. It didn’t tell me everything, because every baby is different, but it definitely gave me some ideas and some things to try.

For both my girls, who have very different personalities, this book was invaluable! Practical, step-by-step kinds of stuff was exactly what I needed as a new mommy who, with our house concerts and worship leading and the like, needed my babies to be on a somewhat predictable routine.

Secrets of The Baby Whisperer is a book that gives a great overview to The Baby Whisperer methodology, and you can find even more practical tips in The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior–Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhoodwhich is organized by common issues that arise in early parenthood: nighttime sleep, naps, early waking, potty training, weaning pacifiers, and more.

The other fantastic thing about The Baby Whisperer is the online forum. All the mommies that participate have the same Baby Whisperer (BW) outlook on things, and so the advice you get when you post a question is usually really good. Like everything, you have to weigh the answers you get with how you want to parent, but for the most part, I’ve had great luck with the forums. There are extensive articles on the forums, too, about sleep training and sleep patterns. There’s a forum on breast feeding, on toddler eating habits, and lots more. I spend hours on that thing.

Just writing about it gets me excited. That’s how much I love it.

I love that my husband works at home. I love that he’s around for lunch everyday. I love that he was able to take as much time as he wanted when Emma was born last summer. I love that I can leave a napping baby and go to the store with only one child instead of two.

But as wonderful as it is, having him at home is challenging, too. It’s loud and he often doesn’t get long chunks of time to concentrate. Our house is oddly shaped, and Ellie’s time-out spot for some reason ended up just outside his office door. It’s tempting for me to interrupt him with minute questions and musings. It’s hard for him to feel okay not coming to help when he hears both babies crying, the dog barking, and the doorbell ringing all at the same time. It’s tempting for me to try and convince him to take a walk, go to the store, replace batteries in some toy or do the dishes. You get the idea.

And we haven’t even mentioned the fact that I need time too.  Time to write songs and stories, do our budget, drink coffee with girlfriends, run, and just be alone. Sound familiar to anyone else out there?

The best solution we’ve come up with to having a successful balance between all these things is to come up with a schedule. I’m not talking about the kid’s eating and nap schedule; I’m talking about a spreadsheet family schedule that Tim color-codes and posts on our cabinet.

It has made all the difference.

Here’s how you do it–with some practical examples specific to our household.

1. Get with your husband and grab some post-it notes or ripped up pieces of paper. Separately, write down everything you would love to do if every day was a day off and you had all the money in the world, too. Write only one per paper. For us, this includes reading, hiking, exercising, learning to sew, going to the zoo, having people over, writing songs, gardening, etc.

2. Write down things that you need to do: bookkeeping, upkeep on websites, booking concerts, raising support, balancing our personal budget, etc.

3. As a couple, group each of the pieces of paper into categories. Our categories are usually relational stuff, administrative needs, fun stuff, partner communication, booking, creative time, etc. This is where you prioritize your tiny sheets of paper. The categories represent things you are going to spend your time on, so some will emerge as highly important. On the other hand, you might realize that some things aren’t all that important right now. Not everything will have a place, and that’s okay. Some will not make it through to the next step, and you will be able to save those for the next season’s schedule. I love this step because it helps me sort through all the many things on my heart to do, and it releases me from the pressure of doing all of them all the time. And it adds a sense of anticipation for the next season because I’ll look forward to getting to the things that were not a good fit for right now.

4. Organize your categories into days of the week. The fun stuff becomes your ideas for your Sabbath, or your rest day. Tim likes to follow the rest day with his admin day because he is full of energy from resting well and admin is his least favorite thing. Then he likes to follow the admin day with a writing day.

This is the time when you can talk about how you can each get the time that you need to do what needs to be done. We had one schedule where we prioritized creative time because we were working on new material for a CD. On our two writing days per week, Tim took the morning writing time and I took the afternoon and whoever wasn’t working had Ellie. On our current schedule a half-day isn’t practical anymore and Tim needs more concentrated time in the office, so I get a full work day per week and on that day Tim takes the girls for daddy-daughter time. In each of our schedules, exercising has been important to me, and so I have early morning time set aside for that and Tim gets the girls up and ready for the day. My being disciplined enough to actually get up and take that time allotted for me is a different story, but at least it’s on the schedule.

5. Post your schedule somewhere visible and stick to it!

Now everything important has a spot, so when other things come and vie for your attention you can look at the schedule you’ve made and know that you have allotted your time specifically and purposefully. You can take control of your days and hours instead of letting them control you. It has helped our marriage a ton, too, because we know what to expect every day. We both feel listened to and understood because of having to explain the importance of each post-it note and because we had to work together to come up with a routine that worked best for our family life and needs.

Who brought this miracle to us? Our great friends Ben and Robin, who routinely teach these practical things and more at events like the January Artist Gathering.  If you are an interested in pursuing a career or lifestyle in the creative arts, you definitely will want to look in to attending one of these trainings.