How My Daughter Became a Princess

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Almost everything Ellie opened for Christmas this year had something to do with princesses. A princess suitcase with travel pillow and blanket, princess big girl pants, princess slippers, princess tea set, princess camera, a cd with princess songs on it, two princess dresses, and a princess castle.

My girl Ellie loves princesses so much that I and everyone else in my family want to give her absolutely everything we could that had princesses on them. I love seeing her so delighted and happy.

I was not always so excited about princess stuff, though. In fact, I’m pretty surprised at myself as a mom, and so are a lot of my friends and family who knew me before I became a mommy to girls.

You see, back in my grad school days when I was writing papers about feminist literature and the like, I swore that if I ever had a little girl she would never ever have princess stuff. I didn’t want her to be spoiled and overly-focused on her appearance and material things–which is something I associated with the whole princess thing.

But then Ellie was born. For her first birthday, we went to Texas to celebrate with my family, and I decided to do the easy thing and buy some birthday plates and cups and stuff. But the only thing I could find was princess-themed.

No. NO. I refused it. I kept looking.

Finally it was the day of the party, and I still couldn’t find anything for a little girl that was appropriate for the 1st birthday and not princess-themed. I called my mom and complained. I cried and told her how much I didn’t want Ellie to have the princess stuff because I didn’t want her to end up spoiled some day and thinking she was a princess.

And then, from the other end of the line, my mom, as she so gently and wonderfully does, brought the hammer:

“Well,” she said, “you don’t want her to think she’s not a princess, do you?”

At that moment my mom in her wisdom saved me and Ellie from something equally as harmful for Ellie’s heart as being spoiled: believing that she’s not a princess, not worthy of crowns and princes and beautiful dresses. I knew in my heart she was right, and I took the plunge.

Now, almost 2 years later, I see Ellie’s heart come alive when she dons a princess dress. She dances around the house, banging on drums, and singing into her microphone. But you know what? You would be hard-pressed to see her doing that without one of her princess dresses on.

I want her to know how beautiful she is. I want her to feel alive in her feminine heart. I believe it taps into something so deeply rooted in her . . . a princess heart that responds to the call of a heavenly king. Maybe for Emma it will be a different thing that reaches that spot. But I know what it is for Ellie, and if that can happen in her 2-year-old heart through dancing around the house with her dad while wearing a princess dress, then it is a delight to me to see it.

For her, there’s no vanity in it at all. Instead there’s a connection to something deep in her heart that has to do with her daughterhood, her heavenly king, her loveliness, and her inheritance in the kingdom of God.

6 Comments

  • Wow, this is so sweet. I never thought of the “princess” stuff in that way, and honestly held the exact same belief that you did beforehand.

    You may have changed my opinion, too!

    love love love!

  • That’s an amazing perspective on it. She is most certainly a princess, of the Most High King :) Her dress in that first pic is exquisite!

  • Thanks Julie and Amanda! It’s funny how your perspective shifts as you get older and “wiser.” I think I’m also seeing that discipline and what we model for them has more to do with Ellie and Emma’s attitudes than the toys they play with do. Have you found that to be true with your boys, Julie?

  • Oh Laurie, you’re awesome!! I too, share”d” the same princess sentiments and often think what I would you if I end up with a prissy princess loving daughter. I love your insight! Wish I could spend lots of time with you… our hopes of a Spring trip to Colorado are not going to happen (sad face). In the Fall, yes, we will make it in the Fall! (new baby in tow)

  • heather! i’ve been thinking about you these last few days so i’m so excited you commented so we can be in touch! i love the recipes on your blog…i’m totally going to make them!

  • Hi Laurie,
    I happened upon this post,and I wanted to share a couple of things as a mom of a princess loving girl who is now almost 13. (I love the post by the way!) Madeleine’s response as she played in her princess things, and we should have owned stock in the company by the way, was very similar to Ellie’s. I love Staci Eldridge’s book, Captivating, because she addresses some of this, but Madeleine loved showing, especially her daddy, her princess self. Randy was always so good to let her know how beautiful she was to him ALL the time, but we could see her delight. As she got older I had opportunities to talk to her about her daughterhood and the difference between a princess/diva mentality, and the confidence in knowing your Father is a king. As part of a real royal family we have priviledge, but we also have responsibility to bring what we have to others who don’t. Being a princess also means that we don’t cheapen who we are. I want my daughter to think about that when she chooses the people who will influence her, and later date her. And being a princess also means that we have the “bloodline” to act more appropriately in our relationships because we’ve been part of a “royal” family. Your daughter is a beautiful princess! Love to you and yours! -Angie