Let Me Introduce You to My Party-Spirit

Nov 17th, 2009 by Laurie in Personal Reflections
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Have you ever tried to edit a book with a two-year-old running around the house and a 5-month-old screaming in your ear? That’s what I’ve been doing for the past few days.  Sometimes I think it’d be better for me not to commit to do anything at all for the next 18 years, but now that wouldn’t be very fun for me, would it?

When Emma was 6 weeks old, I over-committed myself at a worship festival some friends and I were hosting in Divide, Colorado. Not only did I have my two girls–one brand new, let me remind you–but I also was invited to play on stage with every band that was on that day, and I had volunteered myself to be the hospitality house coordinator for the entire day as well. My husband warned that I was taking on too much, and he was right.  But I’ve got this thing I like to call my party-spirit.  It comes out when I think that a lot of my friends and people I love will be together doing things that are wonderful for us and for the kingdom of God, and I just can’t help myself.  I want to be a part of it.  I want to feel like I’m contributing in some way to the fun and to the love.

Well, probably needless to say, I didn’t get to play with my friends nor did I do a very good job at being hospitable, because I spent most of the day in tears, stressed and exhausted. I had to confess to my friends that my party-spirit had taken over and that it was too much for me to handle.  It’s a good thing they love me for who I am and not what I can do, because I didn’t do anything but cry and go home early.

And now here I am at 11:00 at night trying to keep my contacts from drying out as I stare at my computer screen, editing books for self-publishing people I love and believe in. My husband has gone to bed and I realize I’ve done it again and I ask myself, What was I thinking when I agreed to the quick deadline?

Again, it’s a good thing my people love me for who I am instead of for what I do since I clearly have needed more time.

I guess I am learning that having more than one kid and an overactive party-spirit means limiting myself to a few things: 1. a deadline that seems ridiculously far away;  2. only one or even a half of a thing to do other than parent, and that thing only once a week maybe; 3. grace and permission for myself not to do everything I want to in this season of having tiny children.

Here I am, even after two years of trying to balance motherhood and all the other things I love, and I still haven’t gotten the hang of it. Ugh.

3 Comments

  • So true…I tried to manage a farmers market in New Orleans when Ocean was 2, didn’t work out so well. We really do have to limit our projects, but it’s so worth it.

  • I think creative/artsy moms have to learn to have what I like to call creative bursts! I love to write fiction, write songs, draw, play music, but there is hardly ever a moment when these things are done without constant interruption. I have found grace and the ability to create quickly.

    You are doing a great job and gaining lots of wisdom as you go :) ! I sent Michelle some new songs the other day and we were both laughing about the fact that when we send each other something we are working on there are always kid sounds in the background! BTW, I love your blog! You are brilliant and amazing and I miss you!!

  • [...] this is the same gathering that stressed out my party-spirit last year. This year my children were old enough to spend the weekend with close friends, and I [...]